It seems so natural to ask couples, especially newlyweds, when they’re going to start making some babies. And there’s certainly a lot of joy for a lot of couples when they make the decision (or it’s made for them by mother nature) to grow their family. It never hurts to take a second before you ask about these often joyful, but always personal, details.

On the one hand, talking about sweet, adorable, pooping and puking babies is heaven because starting a family is a dream for so many. But taking that extra second before you open your mouth to ask personal questions, remember: you may be asking very direct questions about someone’s reproductive capabilities, and it could be a sore spot. They might want kids, but can’t conceive.  This woman shared just why the question hurts so much here.

Likewise, there are couples and women who don’t want kids. Unfathomable to some who believe if you’re capable then you should! But even if you don’t understand why, the social situation you find yourself in that makes you feel comfortable enough asking the question still might not be the right time to delve deeper to find out why. If you know a woman or couple well enough to ask in the first place, why not plan a friendly get together with just you and then ask away! There’s still no guarantee that just because you’re asking and curious, they’ll feel obligated to answer you. After all, they will likely not be reproducing with YOU, so again, we’re back to the “mind your own business” philosophy.

When all is said and done, we will likely not run out of humans if every person born with eggs doesn’t conceive, and there a PLENTY of topics to talk about socially, so how about asking a different question?